Reasons Why The World Is Awful

1

September 12, 2012 by raconteurmagazine

by Nate Bradley

The world is awful. Utterly rubbish.

I’m not trying to tell you that things would have been much better in the forties, when fedoras roamed the heads of all and Jessie J couldn’t even be used as a bedtime story to make children behave. I’ve never lived in another era (having not invented time travel) and so have no idea how different other eras may have been. The world is still bloody awful though.

Why is the world awful? Music? Film? Media? Greed? Nicholas Cage? Yes. All of these things are terrible. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m a huge fan of music and, predictably, I play in a band. I love music. I hate people who love music (completely hypocritically). People constantly tell me that the bands I like are crap, or outdated and then proceed to tell me what I should listen to. The only absolute with music (and entertainment in general) is that anyone who has appeared on the X Factor is terrible and will die alone and in tears.

I also mentioned film. Film is, in my opinion, the pinnacle of what is wrong with the world. Huge film studios with unimaginable amounts of money telling producers to make the same film time and again because people are simply too moronic to try thinking about things for a change (and it would be a bloody change). I’m not entirely without hope, but I think that it will be a number at least into the triple digits before people realise that Transformers films are arse-garbage.

I’m not going to go through all the reasons the world is awful, but instead finish up here as I’m getting myself all worked up and may have a stroke.

The problem with the world is you.

Yes, you sat at home, reading this drivel. You have opinions, don’t you? I bet you love voicing those opinions, too. That’s the problem. Everybody has an opinion and feels that they are utterly entitled to spout it at people in the most inane and annoying manner possible. Nobody cares where you think blame for the recession lies because you aren’t a financial expert. Nobody cares your opinions on films because you are not ‘in the industry’. Stop thinking that you’re important, people, and the world will quickly begin to right itself.

I can hear you thinking: ‘but you’re spouting opinions in an inane and annoying manner! Why do yours matter?’

My opinions matter because I write for a magazine, that’s why (though NME ‘journalists’ have less rights than salted slugs).

One thought on “Reasons Why The World Is Awful

  1. Sparky says:

    Uh… I do work in the financial sector. Just sayin’. Damned if I know what the cause of the recession is though.

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